That moment you realize today is the last day in April and you have only put up 1 blog this month.... Oops! hahaha But I let's get into this!
There's a song that says:
I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray and flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like toI pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you
Many of us have an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/friend or whatever that has left us broken, feeling worthless, and with a lot of pain and anxiety. You almost hope that they will have a chance to experience the pain that they caused you. Some people even will take that step of revenge to ensure that person goes through what they put you through. Some situations can take months to heal from, while others can take years. Depending on the severity, it can be extremely difficult and feel impossible to forgive. In many cases we have every right to be mad. I have had a few situations to where I was left feeling broken, angry and various other negative emotions. While in my anger one day, the Holy Spirit really convicted me. He showed me that as I continue to live in anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness they are living their life. I cannot allow someone else to control how I go about my day to day life. I am putting myself in bondage as I continue to process what that person did to me. So what are we supposed to do instead?
We have 3 options:
a. Treat them how they treated you.
b. Let it go. Don't worry about it. Move on.
c. Pray for them and ask God to bless them.
If you picked "C" you are correct! (Come on guys. You know "C" is always the answer. lol)
Now I know what you're thinking, "WHAT?! PRAY FOR THEM?! Do you know how dirty they treated me? Do you know how manipulative they were towards me? They forced me to do stuff I didn't want to do! They lied to me! Cheated on me! Abused me! Violated me and my trust! They continuously put me down and made me feel worthless..." The worst part about it, they don't even realize what they did or even care to see how they mistreated you. They can go about their life without a care in the world of how you feel or what they put you through. You know what? IT SUCKS!!! As much as you may want to them to realize what they did and be remorseful, some people will never see how their actions affected someone else's life.
Why should we not just let it go? As much as you try to let it go, you never properly heal from the situation. You just burry your pain. During times of stress, anxiety, or being faced with another hurtful situation, those unresolved issues and baggage will come to the surface. This can cause you to have deep rooted bitterness or anger that actually changes how you interact with others. You may shut people out and have little patience and grace with people. Other people may adopt ungodly coping mechanisms. So it is far better to handle the situation than to let it go and hope the situation will take care of itself with time.
Now the question remains: Why pray for your ex’s? BECAUSE THEY NEED JESUS TOO!!! We are all in need of a savior. The reason that person mistreated you is probably because the pain someone caused them. Hurting people hurt other people. When you begin to pray for them, you realize how much pain they could be in. You start to see how unhealthy they deal with life. You begin to see their insecurities and that they cover them up in unhealthy ways. You almost feel sympathetic towards them. What I am not saying that you should allow that person back in your life. If they really are untrustworthy, abusive, and manipulative, you forgive them but you protect yourself and keep them at a distance. What I am saying is that you can see that they need a savior, just like you do.
How do you pray for an ex or an enemy? Well I'm glad you asked! The song Pray For You by Jaron and The Long Road to Love, which I posted above, is NOT the way we should pray for someone. Though the song is quite hilarious, it is not how we as followers of Christ should handle situations dealing with enemies. The bible says we are to pray blessings over our enemies.
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you... but love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."
-Luke 6: 27-18,35
How many of us can honestly say we pray for our enemies that way? It is tough, but it get's so much easier. When I felt the Holy Spirit convict because of my anger towards an enemy, I knew I needed to start praying for them. As I began praying for that person, tears started to well up in my eyes because The Lord showed me how broken and insecure they were and how much they needed Him. To those who are not convinced, when that person get's the revenge you were hoping for, whether you caused it or someone else caused it, how good does it actually make you feel? Be honest... It really doesn't feel as good as you were hoping it to be! You almost feel bad for them... almost... :-\ (I'm still healing y'all. Don't judge! lol) Or it can make you crazy at the fact that their misery doesn't make you happy. (I know some people out there that are like that).
It can be extremely difficult to pray for an ex or an enemy. It takes time and practice. Ask the Lord to change your heart to be able to pray for them. I know some of us can barely say the person's name without cringing or feelings of anxiety arise in you. That's ok! It will take time, but you also have to work towards it. The biggest thing we have to remember is that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12. We are fighting a spiritual battle that affects fleshly people. We have to remember who the real enemy is. When you start consistently praying for your ex or your enemies you will be filled with so much peace and joy. It shows you surrender and you're allowing The Lord to take control and giving Him the opportunity to heal you. That's better than any revenge you could ever wish onto someone. Trust me!
If you need help on what to pray, I have a little template below. I pray you all have a great week and I will ttyl!
~BYYYYEEEEE!!!
Prayer:
Lord I pray for (insert person's name here). I pray blessings over their life and that Your peace covers them. Heal them of their pain and brokenness they are holding onto. I pray they can come to know you and grow in a deeper relationship with you. Please bless their relationships/marriages and that they are centered in Your word. Help them see their worth and value and what you have created them to be. Protect them so that they can fulfill Your plan for their life.
Thank you Father for giving me grace and mercy when I didn't deserve it. Continue to strengthen me to pray for (Insert person's name) because they deserve your love and grace as well. I love you!
In Jesus's name,
Amen!